The Problem With Tinder

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I’ve said it before, I’m a fan of Tinder – because where else are bookish girls with a desire to go to bed early and make friends with cats going to find men? But,ย BUT there’s a problem (well, many) with internet/Tinder dating: It requires you to invest a large amount of time into people you don’t even know, let alone know if youย like.

Ugh.

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The Cardinal Rules Of Internet Dating

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Recently. I was at a friend’s birthday party and one of her BF’s friends was like, ‘You! Is this awkward but I think I recognise you from OkCupid. Maybe it was Tinder. You really shouldn’t use the same picture for everything.’ Turns out I broke one of the Cardinal Rules of Internet Dating.

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Getting Ready For A First Date

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I suck at dating. I hate dating. I’ve sent several voice notes to the Long Distance Bestie about my hatred of dates – especially first dates. In fact I’m so bad at dating that it once took me six months to realise that the picnic my “friend” took me on, was, in fact, a date. No wonder he got annoyed me with me when I was vague about plans after that. He thought I was blowing him off. I was just being a flakey friend.

With joining Tinder (and OkCupid, yes, I’ve gone back to them) I’ve had a few first dates recently. Or are they dates when you are just meeting someone from a site and you’re trying to ascertain if they are, indeed, not serial killers (I’ve been watching too much of The Fall) or organ harvesters? Or they meet ups? Coffee hangouts? Let’s-not-die-tonight-face-time-in-real-time?

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I Could Be Your Tinderella

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Me: So I’ve signed up to Tinder. And OkCupid. Ok, fine and DatingBuzz
Friend (horrified): But…why?
Me: Where am I meant to meet someone?
Friend: That’s why you need to go out more! Meet new people! Go to gigs! Go to concerts!
Me: …Can you see me dating someone I met at Assembly? Can you even see me at Assembly past, like, 12am?
Friend: ….True. Well, what about some place where you’d meet people with similar interests?
Me: Books and cats? I don’t think there’s a club for that. At least not a club with men.

Finding someone you want to date is hard. Like really hard. The “usual” way to meet people is through your friends. But I have a problem here: I have a close-knit circle of friends who are a) all friends with each other and not many other people b) also mostly live overseas. After the break-up with Dean I put myself on a Man Ban for a very long time to clear my head and heart. After that I dabbled in online datingย before giving up on it. But at the end of last year I finally gave it a serious try.

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Tinder: A Guide to Swiping Left

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Let’s be honest.

Bookish girls don’t find guys in a bar.

We don’t find them at weird blind dates set up by well meaning friends.

We find them on the internet. Like we find the rest of our friends.

So it’s little surprise that after my weirdย adventures into DatingBuzz and OkCupid that I thought, fuck it, let me try Tinder. How weird could it get?

Plenty weird.

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