Conversations with my bank account

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Despicable Me / Universal Picture via imgur

Me: You know what would be a REALLY GOOD IDEA?
Bank account: …what…?
Me: BUYING THIS MAKE-UP BRUSH RIGHT NOW
BA: You don’t need it! You just bought one two weeks ago.
Me: BUT IT’S SO FLUFFY
BA: No. Think of dinner! You like dinner right?
Me: yes…but….fluffy…
BA: You really need to stop anxiety shopping.

God. I hate it when my bank account makes sense.

The Essential Guide to Shopping When Living Alone

shopping

I’ve been living alone for about a year and a half now. Before that, I lived with The Ex Housemate. While we didn’t go shopping together that often, or, well, at all really, we’d often get shared items (bread!) or little treats (rusks! hot chocolate! biscuits!). Now, I live alone. I cannot claim that the mounds of chocolate in the fridge is shared. Or that those packets of microwave popcorn are not mine. Or that those rotting veggies are defs not mine. So I’ve learnt many-a-thing and developed my very own programme for all you fledgling professionals or trust-fund-varsity students.

*ahem*

Want to not die of scurvy? Try the Fool Proof Jess Method of Purchasing, approved by 100%* of test subjects and proven not to give you death-inducing malnutrition by our test group**.

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