Part of being an independent, 20-something year old adult is learning to feed yourself and not end up some kind of severe nutritional deficiency/disorder/disease/die. Admittedly, when I first moved out of home, I depended a lot of frozen vegetables and couscous. Cause like, EASY. But I’ve realised that perhaps to avoid getting scurvy (THIS IS A THING YOU CAN GET ON LAND), I had to improve my game.
Banting For What?!
Seriously, if you’re doing the Paelo/Banting/LCHF life – HOW ARE YOU EVEN STILL A PERSON? I may be over the hill of metabolism (post 25 body is like LOL, you can’t eat what you want any more), but you must be crazy to give up carbs. I mean: pizza. pasta. bread. pancakes. cake. How is that a life?! You bitches be crazy.
A huge part of surviving your 20s consists of eating pasta in all its glorious forms, 2 minute noodles, pizza/cheap Chinese takeout, bread, cereal, salticracks – like, all the basic carbs. Take them away, and all I have left to eat is tuna, tomato sauce and cheese. And trust me on this, you shouldn’t combine the three.
Fine, maybe some of you go with ‘beer’ or ‘gin’ and while I’m fond of these as well, wine in Cape Town is as basic as a good group gets. Going for lunch? Wine. Having dinner at a friend’s place? Wine. Hell, going for breakfast? Mimosas. Ain’t no thing like ‘too early for wine’.
And not just your local coffee shop/bar. That takeout place where you walk in and they ring up your order like it aint no thang. It’s not even mildly embarrassing that they don’t hand you a menu because they know you’re so stuck in your ways you’ve been ordering the same thing for the last three years. My relationship with the Panarotti’s up the the road from me has lasted longer than any of my other relationships. We’re so steady the waiters even greet me as I pass them in the street. That’s love, guys, that’s real love.
From varsity days into working days, caffeine is a non-negotiable. From Ricoffy (yuck), I’ve graduated to Nescafe (if I must) to filter (so good). Hell, throw in a Red Bull for when I have to go from work to an event. Caffeine is as vital to my veins as water. You cannot, CANNOT survive your 20s (and the Wine food group) without including a balanced (excessive) amount of caffeine in your diet.
But give me too much, and I’m totally like Jenna Marbles.