Me: So I’ve signed up to Tinder. And OkCupid. Ok, fine and DatingBuzz
Friend (horrified): But…why?
Me: Where am I meant to meet someone?
Friend: That’s why you need to go out more! Meet new people! Go to gigs! Go to concerts!
Me: …Can you see me dating someone I met at Assembly? Can you even see me at Assembly past, like, 12am?
Friend: ….True. Well, what about some place where you’d meet people with similar interests?
Me: Books and cats? I don’t think there’s a club for that. At least not a club with men.
Finding someone you want to date is hard. Like really hard. The “usual” way to meet people is through your friends. But I have a problem here: I have a close-knit circle of friends who are a) all friends with each other and not many other people b) also mostly live overseas. After the break-up with Dean I put myself on a Man Ban for a very long time to clear my head and heart. After that I dabbled in online dating before giving up on it. But at the end of last year I finally gave it a serious try.
When I say I’m trying online dating, most people respond with some form of poorly disguised horror at the idea. I get the typical response most women in their late twenties to thirties get when I say I’m single: But you’re so pretty, smart and talented! Surely you must just be looking in the wrong places! Just wait – the right guy will come along when you least expect it.
I’ve spent so much of the past few years in stasis – in hibernation – in a cocoon waiting for life to come find me. And it hasn’t, not in the ways I’ve wanted it to. So I’ve changed my ways: believe you have to grab life by the face – good things come to those who work for it, not those who wait. Sure, I may still run over a cute boy with my trolley while buying Nutella and wine – but I may also meet a nice lad by swiping right instead of left.
Of course there’s no guarantee that by swiping right or chatting to strangers on OkCupid and DatingBuzz [side bar: but fuck, are white men racist and homophobic] will find me a soul mate. It might find me nothing. It might find me heartache. But, as the Instagram print stuck to my mirror says, If you want things in your life to change, you’re going to have to change things in your life.