I’ve been having this discussion with several (female) friends lately. Well, the single ones anyway. What makes a date a date and how can you tell if you’re on a date (or been invited on a date?). I have a fantastic track record of going on dates that I didn’t know were dates until later. Sometimes months later. Surely there should be some code, some etiquette, to make this guessing game less of a guess and more of a “hey, how you DOIN’?”.
1. Time. Apparently, dinner (when you’ve only known the person a short while) is always a date. But what about coffee? Lunch? Tea with scones? Ice cream cones followed by a hike? Drinks when it’s just the two of you? There’s a lot of grey area here. How do you know when ‘Hey, let’s go try out that frozen yoghurt bar’ is a date or just a ‘you look like you enjoy dairy, let’s be friends!’ vibe?
2. How long you’ve known each other. How long can you know someone before you cross from acquaintance to friend and therefore all invitations to imbibe beverages and chug food go from ‘let’s see where this goes, sexy’ to ‘dudeface, let’s eat’? A month? Four? Even then, how do you know if a friend guy (or gal, depending on your preference) is making the sexy moves?
3. Where you go. Is it a date if it’s a classy joint, like Pepenero, but just friends if it’s a relaxed vibe, Gourmet Boerie or Roxy’s? Does the place make it a date? How do you know what’s a date place and what’s a ‘I’m down with the kids so I heard about this cool joint, let’s kick it, as the young ones say’?
4. If he offers you a lift. Now, I’m pretty certain that if we’re in the I’ve-only-known-you-a-few-weeks boat and you (as a dude guy), offer me a lift, we’re in the dating stream….right? I think this is the only box I’m certain on. But what if you want to meet there? Are you saying that because you think that I’ll think that if you offer me a lift you’re secretly a serial killer out to collect locks of my hair and then keep me in a dungeon (where I must put the lotion on my skin).
5. Conversation. I think, now I may be wrong, that on Real Dates, dudes ask you about yourself, not just talk about themselves (but what if they are nervous and don’t want to seem creepy?). And you kinda ask them about themselves. But if they’re monologuing about themselves, and haven’t even asked the names of your five cats (hey, cats are people too), is he even being a friend dude or does he just want a face next to him to eat with?
HOW DO YOU KNOW?!
And yes. I over think everything.
Can’t we just all say THIS IS A DATE when it’s a date? Things would be so much easier.