I know I’m in the minority when I say I love (ok, like) taking the Cape Town Metorail, but shit, have you seen traffic these days? Besides the occasional snafu I get home in a ridiculously short amount of time (20 minutes to the Southern Suburbs?!). Anyway. I’m an attracter of Awkward Situations. Need to laugh at someone else’s expense? I’ll do you a solid today.
Meeting the Ex
Sebastien and I didn’t have the best of break ups. It was messy (I always seem to do messy). We hadn’t spoken or really seen each other in three-or-so years. Well, besides that time in passing when I saw him at Kauai with his new GF, did a double take and then a walk by. Twice. Then freaked out and ate chocolate.
ANYWAY, we hadn’t seen each other and I was taking a later train than usual. I sat there, staring at the back of this dude’s head a row in front of me. (You know where this is going). And I thought it looked familiar. The hair. The head. The neck. And at his station, yup, HI. Guess we’re on the same line now.
A few weeks later when I boarded, yup. There he was. Admittedly I was kind of evil.
He greeted me with, ‘Well, this is awkward.’
Inner Jess immediately thought: ‘Challenge accepted.’
And I proceeded to make as much awkward small talk as humanly possible.
Only train ride that could be more awkward? Ending up in carriage with Floyd AND Sebastien. That’d be killer. I’m just waiting for the day.
Three Times the Fun
While yesterday’s train ride was full of burning carriages and delays, Monday’s was so awkward I spent 90% of it being totally fascinated by the scenery rushing by.
Let’s start with Friday. Friday I take a later train home. I’m doing that whole I-so-busy-on-my-phone thing to avoid talking to strangers, but Train Stranger (I’ve forgotten his name) decides nope, I’m a girl to chat to. Rather, chat up. Proceed stilted conversation during which I attempt to swop one of my many rings onto my wedding finger. He works Valentine’s Day into the conversation. Valentine’s day. Then ‘subtly’ asks my dating status.
Guess who boards on Monday? Him. Accompanied by? The Ex-Housemate (who’s none to fond of me) BBF (who assumedly shares the unfondness).
Then, Saturday night I was at a friend’s housewarming. One of the guest’s is all, ‘Hey, you look familiar. Are you Floyd’s sister?’. Double take from me and my BFF.
Us: ‘Metal Floyd? In a band Floyd? Long hair Floyd?’
Him, awkwardly now: ‘Uh, yes?’
Me: ‘No. I’m his ex. Well, his ex, ex.’
He (party guy) was on my train ride to work on Monday and, naturally, on my ride back. Only thing that could have possibly made it more awkward? Sebastien. And Floyd.
Read more of my Metorail Tales: Metrorail Adventures.