Tales of a Grownup Jess

Welcome to 2013 and, hopefully, a more regularly updated blog.

For those of you who know me (which I assume is my entire readership, hi friends!) I’ve been living out of home since 2011. By ‘out of home’ I mean I fled the nest, ditched the parents (hi mom, don’t tell dad what I said!), and lived on my own. First I lived with a friend and then, since last year, I’ve lived on my ownsome! I thought I’d share some pearls of wisdom. Some sage advice. Some pieces of knowledge. Follow, fools, for these are words to live by!

1. Carrots (even when diced) don’t stir fry easily. Heck. Even when sliced, diced, skinned, deboned and whittled down, they don’t.

2. When attaching the outflow pipe of your washing machine to the sink, do it well. Otherwise you’ll flood the kitchen. In case of flooding, avoid the pool of water if there’s an appliance in said pool. You’ll avoid potential electrocution.

3. Also, don’t dye your hair and do washing at the same time. You’re asking for disaster.

4. Soup = sauce, only cheaper.

5. When a hotplate is splashed with hot water containing oil, it can, and will, catch a light. Also, if a piece of popcorn falls on a hotplate, it will burst into flame. For reals.

6. Even if a Tupperware SAYS it’s microwave friendly, using it to make popcorn will result in it melting. Popcorn is both awesome and lethal.

7. Mr Muscle Floor cleaner cleans basically everything.

8. Climbing inside your duvet case to put your duvet inside, when you have a queen sized duvet, only results in you getting lost and stuck inside the duvet cover. It doesn’t result on you getting Β the cover on the duvet.

9. Cockroaches are even scarier when you’re the one who has to catch them. Screaming ‘Be gone, vile beast of hell!’ doesn’t work half as well as it should.

These are the Top 9 Lessons so far. More to come as I live (and remember all the stupid things I’ve done).

[img: weheartit.com]

7 thoughts on “Tales of a Grownup Jess

  1. Hah! This is awesome! xD

    1. Carrots (even when diced) don’t stir fry easily. Heck. Even when sliced, diced, skinned, deboned and whittled down, they don’t. <—– SO TRUE! Have learned this one too many times… And I keep forgetting…

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