Because that tweet of mine is going to get me into trouble. What I said: “I don’t get people who say Rihanna is damaging women’s rights/minimising abuse by going back to Chris Brown.” If you follow me, you’d know I am 100% anti-Chris Brown. I have not listened to a single track since his destructive actions became apparent. Do I believe he should be given a second chance? That he ‘made a mistake’? No and no.
However, Rihanna going back to Chris Brown is a sad, sad thing. It’s a sign she is profoundly messed up person who is in need of dire help. But this doesn’t mean that she is damaging women’s rights or saying abuse is ok. It’s a bloody loud cry for help, for someone to intervene in her life and help her. I get that she has fans and that young girls look up to her / her actions. However, she still is entitled to and has a personal life. We cannot lay claim to her every action just because she is a celebrity. If anything, she should be used as an example of how profoundly damaging abuse is – how it psychologically messes you up to such a massive extent that going back is something you do – repeatedly. She isn’t make abuse ‘ok’. She’s a classic case of how much abuse is NOT ok and how badly it fucks someone up.
By attacking Rihanna, you’re attacking the victim. You’re victim blaming. If he hurts again, will you say it’s her fault for going back? Or will you recognise that abuse goes beyond the punches to a much deeper psychological level that’s much harder to heal.