This weekend it’s my birthday party. I’m turning 25 on the 16th, but decided to have my festivities
a week before (too many March babies in my group of friends). I actually didn’t want to do anything this year. Over the past two years I kept it low admin and just hit The Shack where people could come and go as they pleased. But dark, dingy nightclubs just wasn’t what I was feeling this year, so instead I’m having a picnic.
I don’t particularly know why I’m not vibing my own part. It’s not that I’m bleak to be turning 25 (I’m actually kinda happy, being older makes me feel more legit in my job). I mean, as a kid and teen I had the typical party experiences of inviting loads of people and hardly anyone showing up after they said they would. The fights at sleepovers, the friends being mean – all that crap.
But if people don’t pitch this year, I’m not that phased. Those who want to be there, will be there. If someone doesn’t want to be there, I’m chilled. I think it’s just birthday fatigue. Parties feel like such an effort. Organising, hosting – I always feel this pressure to make sure everyone is having a good time, so I rarely relax and enjoy it myself. I stress about the different factions of friends getting along. This year, The Boyfriend’s friends are attending too. Will they fit in with mine? Will it be super awkward? Argh.
Do you ever just not feel like celebrating your birthday? What do you do – how do you get out of it?
(I failed at this!)